You can only play with so much fire...

As a social worker I have met with a lot of people going through some very difficult times. I have met with men and women that are cheating or have cheated on their spouses. I have met with parents that neglect their children. I have met with people that really should not own a firearm and I have met with all sorts of addicts. You put all that bad behavior together and well...you might end up with these two:

I never met retired NFL quarterback Steve McNair nor his mistress Sahel Kazemi. I'm sure they were nice enough people but they made a whole slew of bad decisions and both ended up dead, shot and killed in his condominium. The investigation is still underway but there are several undebatable facts:

• Despite being married he had a mistress. Even worse this mistress was almost half his age, he was 36 and she was 20.

• Like many athletes he was trying to compensate for something so he owned a pistol. Sure he was a famous athlete but let's be honest, he probably did not need to carry around a firearm. In fact, he was once arrested for illegally carrying a concealed weapon. It is yet to be determined but what do you bet he was killed with his own weapon?

• The duo was pulled over two days before their lives were ended on the suspicion of drinking and driving. Despite being under the legal age to drink the mistress was driving but claimed she was not drunk but high. Either way she ended up in jail with a DUI and McNair took a cab home. No matter how you look at it alcohol and drugs were being abused.
  

• McNair spent much of his time in Tennessee where he owned a restaurant while his wife and four young children stayed in Mississippi where he owned a house.

Sure, a lot of people look at McNair's lifestyle and think it is so cool! But look at that list, everyone of those things are high risk behaviors. Any of those acts could go horribly wrong and well...someone could end up dead. Though it is not official it is looking like this was a murder-suicide initiated by the mistress.

Granted, many have done all of these things and lived to a ripe old age but why on earth would one want to push their luck? Is cheating on a souse really worth it? Do you really need to own and carry around a dangerous gun? Are drugs and alcohol fun enough to risk such an outcome? And shouldn't one spend their extra time caring for their growing children?

The saddest part is McNair gave extensively to charity and was an accomplished athlete but the world won't remember him for that. Instead his legacy will be that of a cradle-robbing adulterer that was murdered, possibly by his mistress. This story breaks my heart and makes me think of so many people I have worked with and worry about. Seriously, many of my current and former clients are doing one or more of these high risk behaviors and I can't help but wonder, are any of them close to such a tragic outcome?