I Have Two Little Hands

Henry spent the last month in Heaven being loved and kissed by his Great Grandma Williams. While on earth, Grandma would often tell stories of her dear sweet mother who had very small crippled hands that had been ravaged by Rheumatoid Arthritis. Grandma would sing the primary song "I Have Two Little Hands," to us, holding our hands and telling us stories of her mother.


Henry loves his hands. They are always by his face, moving around and clasping each other. But often he just sits there with his hands clasped together, and I wonder if he is singing,

"I have two little hands, folded snuggly and tight.
They are tiny and weak, yet they know what is right.
During all the long hours till daylight is through,
There is plenty indeed for my two hands to do."

A Spiritual Side to a Baby Being Born

Thank you so much for all of your kind remarks and gifts. Heidi and I are fairly new to Texas and we do not have a lot of family or friends here so the support we have received here and from loved ones elsewhere means a lot to us. Please believe me when I say we cannot thank you enough.

Back to the birth of baby. Wow! I just can’t get over at the craziness of the entire event. One second there were five people in the room and then just like magic: poof, there were six. In one gasp of the “breath of life,” little Henry went from living off of the stuff in the womb to breathing air like everyone else. From Mormon terminology one moment he was on one side of the veil and the next he was on the other.

Like all of us Henry is here because as the prophet Amulek testified, “this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.” (Alma 34:32) I just can’t believe God would trust me of all people with a responsibility this significant.

Someone once told me that the two times he felt closest to God was at the death of his father and birth of his two children. As horrible and painful as it was losing my mother Christmas morning my senior year of high school there was indeed an intense spiritual aura. The veil was paper thin on that difficult day and I have not been that close to the veil again until last Friday, December 26, when my son was born and made the transition from the world before this life into this one.

Absolutely fantastic! As I have mentioned before the whole birthing process was a real freak show; I mean there are unimaginable images permanently scarred into my memory. But it was a spiritual freak show and well worth it in order to get Henry here. The other day I wrote that the entire event was “incredibly amazing,” but the word I should have used was “miraculous.” Babies don’t “just happen,” it is way too complex…even divine. Thanks again for all your love and support, we are blessed by your kindness.

More Pictures

EDITOR'S NOTE FROM THE PREVIOUS BLOG: In the previous blog I announced my pride that Heidi did NOT soil herself while giving birth, that was meant as a compliment. However, since I'm being honest I have to admit that after witnessing childbirth for the first time in my life Heidi may not have soiled herself, but I did. -Dan

Now, don't expect much out of this blog...I just went through 12 hours of labor. All I can say is I can't believe it. All of it. All of my blessings, my wonderful husband, and my beautiful baby boy Henry! How can I not feel blessed AND a little guilty-not even 4 years ago I was diagnosed with a horrible kind of cancer with a typically poor prognosis...but I got lucky and responded well to treatment and I have had no relapses in almost 3 years, and then to top it all I went against all odds and became pregnant with a healthy baby! I am blessed beyond blessed. That's all I can say.

The Newest Shelton

In birthing class we learned that despite what movies and TV may show only 12-15% of women who are pregnant have their bag of waters spontaneously broken. Well, at 2:50 (just about two hours after I went to bed) Heidi woke me up saying she thinks her water broke. They did and we were in the hospital twenty minutes later.

After a few hours of contractions Heidi was at a 4 and the pain was becoming too much to bear and even though she wanted to go natural she relented to some pain meds which made her sick so she opted for the epidural. Since I am a man and have no way to comprehend this type of pain I’ll have to believe her when she said it was bad.

The nurse told me too many fathers have a hard time watching the epidural so they ask all fathers to leave the room. That is stupid, I have seen far worse than an epidural and thanks to my Army Medic experience I have stuck lost of needles into men and women. Grudgingly, I left the room and after hearing what transpired after I left I regret succumbing to their lame request.

You see, Heidi had an immediate reaction to the epidural and almost instantly went paralyzed from her neck down. In the meantime baby’s pulse tanked and half a dozen people rushed into the room. Heidi was terrified as she heard them say prepare the operating room for an emergency c-section. Meanwhile I’m sitting in the waiting room reading the newspaper like some sort of oblivious jerk-off as my wife and baby were in serious trouble. Great rule, why would you want a husband around as his family is in danger?

After a few minutes they both recovered and Heidi had a partial epidural but no pump because of her reaction. So, for the rest of the delivery Heidi had to do with a bad reaction to meds and the epidural. By the time the delivery was done the meds had both worn off but Heidi was a champ and did not complain of any pain, just a lot of intense pressure.

EDITORS NOTE: What actually happened was that the spinal needle used for the epidural actually went into the spinal canal instead of on top of the spinal canal. When the doctor tested it by injecting a small bolus of the drug, Heidi was immediately paralyzed and the baby's heart rate drop dramatically. This later caused a spinal fluid leak which landed Heidi bed ridden for a week. A second epidural was offered, but Heidi refused. Thus by the time of delivery all pain meds had worn off.

Giving birth is hands down the most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed and I have seen some pretty freaky stuff including Ben’s mangled body after falling two stories, a man’s finger pinched off by the breach of a cannon, and personally pulling some poor Dominican’s tooth out of his mouth with a pair of dental pliers among other fun events.

But boy, the sights, smells, and colors involved in delivery is disturbing if not horrifying and to be honest I don’t understand how any man has any sort of sexual appetite for some time. However, I will admit, it is unbelievable…nope, it is pretty incredibly amazing that out of all that yelling, goop, blood, and odor comes a real life baby.

Granted Heidi did not totally, 100% succeed in having an all-natural birth she did achieve something even better: I am proud to announce that Heidi did NOT soil herself during the delivery of our new baby boy.

Introducing:
Henry Petersen Shelton
Born 12/26/08
3:23 PM
6 pounds, 4 ounces
21 inches

Our Confessions

As we read over our past blogs we tend to come off at times as being self-righteous and smug. In the interest of full-disclosure Heidi and I decided to point out our own limitations, particularly our shortcomings as practicing Mormons. So, enjoy our humiliating confessions and feel free to share some of your own…if you dare.

Dan’s Confessions

1. I regularly drink and enjoy Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper (both contain caffeine).
2. I bring non-LDS literature to church and read it.
3. I have a very difficult time keeping the Sabbath.

4. I refuse to wear a white shirt to church.
5. I rarely fast.
6. I’m late to church EVERY Sunday, just ask Heidi.
7. I intentionally get the primary kids riled up before my wife leads them as chorister.

8. I don’t eat Jell-O (mostly because it is made from boiled animal parts).
9. I have never belonged to, nor will I ever join, and I frequently disagree with the Republican Party.
10. I wrote this blog during Sacrament Meeting.

Heidi’s Confessions

1. I’m perfect.

Unfortunately I have to admit Heidi is right – she is perfect. Now you understand why I am constantly noticing my own faults when I’m up against a feisty angel.

Meet Hannah the Turkey

Boy...I have changed a lot in the past year. I'm not trying to be self-righteous but I feel I see the world in an entirely different way and I want to share this light with others. About a year ago at the behest of my spectacular wife I began to question my diet, particularly eating meat.


You see, Heidi became a vegetarian because she had cancer and that really sucked. She decided that if completely, 100% abstaining from meat would prevent many types of cancer then it was the diet for her. I talk with terminally people on a daily basis and it hurts me knowing that something as simple as diet frequently contributed to their painful decline.

Anyway, after a significant amount of studying, pondering, and praying (yes, I said praying) I came to the conclusion that eating meat is not the way God intended us to live. In other words Heidi stopped eating meat for health reasons and I stopped for religious reasons. I mean, how much clearer can the Doctrine and Covenants be:

"Yeah, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly; And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine."

American advertising has done a fantastic job of making this seem like a non-issue but heart disease and Type II Diabetes (brought on by animal fat and overeating respectively) contributes to far more sickness, death, and misery than alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine the aspect of the Word of Wisdom that is so readily emphasized.

But perhaps more importantly God went to a lot of trouble designing and creating these creatures and mass producing and altering them into "Frankenanimals" for nothing other than consumption when there are plenty of alternatives seems wrong. At the very least I will be able to tell God that I spared his creatures when possible and I I'll be honest, I need all the bonus points I can get.


Which brings us to Hannah. She's a turkey, and a fortunate one. Notice her beak is normal, most turkeys produced in factory farms have the tips of their beaks chopped off as chicks. She was found in a box in a supermarket parking lot and was taken in by Farm Sanctuary, one of our favorite charities. We adopted her this year for Thanksgiving and her photo is still on our refrigerator.

It's ironic that Thanksgiving, a holiday about gratitude and giving is surrounded by so much slaughter. Between 40 and 45 million turkeys have their lives abruptly ended so we can stuff our faces on the fourth Thursday of November. So think twice about what your eating; I mean do you really need to have meet 3-4 times a day?

Below is a film of a special event Farm Sanctuary holds every Thanksgiving for their turkeys. Take a gander, it is only two minutes long and who doesn't like seeing happy, healthy animals?

We Should Be Angry!

Read this recent AP news story about an insurance underwriter from Georgia:

“A Muslim woman arrested for refusing to take off her head scarf at a courthouse security checkpoint said…she felt her human and civil rights were violated. A judge ordered Lisa Valentine, 40, to serve 10 days in jail for contempt of court, said police in Douglasville [Georgia].”

“Valentine violated a court policy that prohibits people from wearing any headgear in court…Kelley Jackson, a spokeswoman for Georgia Attorney General Thurbert Baker, said state law doesn't permit or prohibit head scarfs.”

"It's at the discretion of the judge and the sheriffs and is up to the security officers in the court house to enforce their decision, she said.”

“‘I just felt stripped of my civil, my human rights,’ she said Wednesday from her home. She said she was unexpectedly released after the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations urged federal authorities to investigate the incident as well as others in Georgia.”

“The group cited a report that the same judge removed a woman and her 14-year-old daughter from the courtroom last week because they were wearing Muslim head scarves.”

“Last year, a judge in Valdosta in southern Georgia barred a Muslim woman from entering a courtroom because she would not remove her head scarf. There have been similar cases in other states, including Michigan, where a Muslim woman in Detroit filed a federal lawsuit in February 2007 after a judge dismissed her small-claims court case when she refused to remove a head and face veil.”

Mrs. Valentine was wearing a hijab as seen above. Shocking isn’t it? The whole incident and all similar ones are as ridiculous as taking one’s shoes off at the airport; and adds to the safety of the USA about the same amount.

But coming from an LDS perspective we should be outraged and come to the defense of our Muslim sisters that have chosen to wear a hijab (note that I said this must be a choice, not an obligation). Why, you might ask? Well, for us endowed members of the church we also wear sacred articles of clothing and how would we feel if some redneck, xenophobic, brain-donor of a judge asked us to remove our temple garments?

In the BYU published text, Religions of the World, a Mormon nursing student studying in Amman, Jordan made the following observation about her Muslim roommate:

“My roommate…stated that there’s a time in every Muslim woman’s life when she must decide to ‘mature’ and wear [the hijab]. She described how she felt…happier, more mature, doesn’t laugh or act like a child, but she feels humble and acts humble…I couldn’t help but compare this to some of the covenants we make in the temple or even the clothes we wear. I related to [my roommate] because when I started wearing garments, I too had to change my wardrobe but I felt a great peace and responsibility to live the highest standards of the Gospel – all because some article of clothing reminds me.”

There was a time that when a Mormon joined the military they were forced to remove their garments and wear traditional undergarments during training. The church and civil rights groups went to great lengths to enforce our religious liberty and today it is no longer an issue though sadly many members feel obligated to remove their garments in a military training environment.

Unfortunately, other than supporting these Muslim-American women through my thoughts, prayers, and paying my dues to the ACLU I honestly don’t know what else to do!

The Audiobooks I Could Not Stand!

This is the third and final installment of my adventures in audiobook "reading." I love cheat reading, in fact when I started the first part of this blog series I had just hit 150 audiobooks, I'm now on 165. If you really like reading try it, you won't be disappointed!

I usually finish every book I begin and I really try to find something good in something somebody took the time to write; I figure it is the least I could do. The good thing with any book is if your not enjoying it then put it down.

However, occasionally I begin a book that just barely keeps my interest and I get sucked in and just can’t get myself to stop “reading.” Well, here are six audiobooks that I simply could not stand. If you have read any of these books and enjoyed them then speak up; I’d like to hear your defense.

Three horrible non-fiction audiobooks:

A Good Dog, Jon Katz: I’ll ruin the ending of this book for you: he puts his 6-year-old Border Collie to sleep because it had nipped a couple people and he was worried that one day the dog might really hurt someone. But that is not why this is on my list of bad books; it is on my bad list because he was already writing this book before he made the decision to put the dog down, in other words I question his motives after all, nothing else makes a better story than a dramatic death at the end. Oh yeah, who writes a book about a family dog yet drops the f-bomb? The guy needs to get his life in order and figure out his audience.

American Theocracy, Kevin Phillips: Religion is bad blah, blah, blah, blah. At first this book intrigued me as religion and politics in the USA is becoming intertwined way too much but this guy really doesn’t like religion and that is what his book is really about. He seriously feels all people who believe in an organized religion must be stupid. But what bugged me most of all: I can’t speak for other faiths but he didn’t even do simple fact checking in regards to Mormonism. He tried to explain The Book of Mormon but clearly has never even opened one up and misrepresented the church on several social issues. Sure, as Mormons we really lit a fire with Prop 8 but overall the Mormon faith is actually quite progressive (wish I could say the same thing about many of my fellow members…Mitt Romney I’m looking in your general direction).

The Blind Side, Michael Lewis: This is a story about a inner-city black teenage boy adopted by a wealthy white family in the suburbs. This young man’s IQ accelerated and his new family encouraged him to participate in football earning him a college scholarship in Mississippi. Sounds like a great social worker story, right? Well, it wasn’t. This family didn’t really have an interest in improving the plight of African-Americans and thought of this young man as more of a novelty than anything else. In fact, the author bragged about how well he did in school but he didn’t do well. He had to take distance ed courses through BYU (the father said the staff at BYU was really nice but “too bad their all going to hell for being Mormons," ha, ha, ha). When NCAA investigators came to see if the situation was legit the father couldn’t even tell them a single class the kid was taking and was offended when they suggested something strange was going on. Point is, I wanted inspiration and found more problems than anything else.

Three horrible fiction audio-books:

Digital Fortress, Dan Brown: If you noticed I had one of Brown’s books on my favorite list but this book is so predictable and the characters are obnoxious and stereotypical. The other weird thing is that this book is full of profanity while his other books are relatively clean. What gives? But I have come to realize that his books all have similar story lines and predictable “red herrings.” If he really wants to fool his readers he needs to come up with a totally different story line and avoid the same old little tricks he has done in the past. But in all fairness I think this was his first novel.

Plum Lucky, Janet Evanovich: This author has sold millions of her books about this female detective but not only is the story line predictable but the characters are annoying. In this particular story our hero’s team consists of a former hooker turned P.I. that wear skanky clothing and a guy who thinks he is a Leprechaun among other ridiculous, not funny personalities. Sometimes I wonder how some authors are so successful.

The 5^th Horseman, James Patterson and Maxine Paetro: Speaking of successful authors that befuddle me these two sell books like crazy but the characters are so dumb and in this case the story line is ridiculous as well. I mean come on; the villain was actually the guy implied from the very beginning. It’s supposed to be a mystery! Oh, and this group of women call themselves something like the Women’s Murder Club, oh, yes, all those murder mysteries that cross their paths. Best part of all, the main character’s boyfriend works for homeland security and she is so proud of him for keeping Americans safe! Give me a break!

Baby Shelton (a repeat)

This is what we have to look forward to in about two weeks. I thought I would remind you, just in case you forgot:

When I was a lass, I had curly hair, I mean really curly. I still have wavy hair...but don't tell anyone.


When Dan was a lad, he had red hair [really does that surprise any one?] and he still does.

So as cute as we may be, this could only lead to one thing in the procreation world:
Dan+Heidi=

Enough said.

Let it Snow

We were so excited that it SNOWED!!!! It hasn't snowed in Houston for years...and we got to see it. Unfortunately we are back to 70 degrees...I guess I'll have to keep dreaming of a white Christmas.

I've Been Tagged

5 things I was doing 10 years ago...

*Dating, and thinking I was in love
*Buying my first car
*Arguing with my sister
*Thinking about going to college
*Acting as Spanish Club President

5 things on today's to-do list...

Well....the day's about over but...
*Study for Physiology
*Study for Spinal Biomechanics
*Finish writing my Physiology Paper
*Study Human Anatomy
*Oh, did I say study?

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire...

*Pay off all my debt
*Travel - to my top three places: India, Africa and Former USSR
*Sponsor an orphanage in Ecuador
*Sponsor an animal rescue
*Buy a house with land for a Farm Sanctuary


5 places I have lived...

*Utah
*Cuenca, Ecuador
*Baltimore, MD
*Las Vegas, NV
*Texas

5 places I have worked...

*K-Mart
*Orem Nursing and Rehab
*Walgreens
*Margaritaville
*Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center; Sunrise Children's Hospital

3 people I TAG...

*Mom
*Rachel
*Holly

I Love To "Read" Audiobooks Part II

As promised here is the list of my favorite non-fiction books that I “read” on audio-book. I’m sure most of you couldn’t wait to see this list so for those few who are not that interested in what I’m listening to on my iPod, sorry.

I don’t know why but I enjoy non-fiction more than fiction. I think it was after returning from my mission that my reading interests evolved. So, with that said please enjoy this fascinating entry and prepare yourself for my least favorite next time.

A Long Way Gone, Ishmail Beah: These are the deeply disturbing, violent memoirs of an African boy who was recruited as a teenager to fight in his country’s civil war in West Africa. Were about the same age and I find it incredible that he was slitting the throats of enemy combatants while I was trying to see how far I could jump my bike.

A Treasury of Royal Scandals, A Treasury of Great American Scandals, Michael Farquhar: This is a “two-for-one” selection. The first book makes me glad I’m an American and that we rid ourselves of Royal families a long time ago. The second is a fascinating look at our own American embarrassing moments. My favorite: a chapter of direct quotes from Richard Nixon and I gotta tell you, it’s some pretty shocking stuff.

An Innocent Man, John Grisham: This is his first non-fiction work and is a direct contribution to my opposition of the death penalty. These two men were convicted of murder; one of them was sentenced to death. Thankfully he was not executed because guess what? He didn’t do it…yep, he didn’t do it and indisputable DNA evidence exonerated him. Just a hunch, but I’m willing to bet innocent men have been executed, is blood for blood really worth it when we might have got the wrong guy?


Black Boy (American Hunger), Richard Wright: I remember seeing those signs men would carry during the Civil Rights Movement that read, “I Am A Man,” and I’ll be honest, I didn’t get it until I read this book and heard from a black man during this time about the way they were denigrated, humiliated, and ridiculed. I get it now.

Born Standing Up, Steve Martin: Some of the best memoirs I’ve heard. His career has been fascinating and it was interesting to see how his act evolved from a small show to stadiums with tens of thousands of fans. Not your typical comedian and his humor is so dry and original, great stuff.

Conservatives Without Conscience, John Dean: This man spent 18 months in prison for lying on behalf of Nixon so he knows a thing or two about American conservatism. For example, did you know there have been academic studies that examine your typical American conservative? Big surprise, they are often uneducated, have a higher level of fear and paranoia, and remarkably thin skin (in other words brain donors like Hannity, Limbaugh, and O’Reilly can insult like no other but if the table is turned they are real babies).

Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser: It’s not just about the meat (although 86% of all beef test positive for fecal molecules). Fast food has directly contributed to American problems such as obesity, illegal immigration, crime, decline in the standard of living, the eradication of family farms, and violence. This is a very well-rounded look at a very serious problem…unless you want the USA to be one big, happy corporation.

Freakonomics, Steven Leavitt: Boy, the things we learn in this book. For example, did the legalization of abortion lead to a decrease in crime? Which is more dangerous, swimming pools or guns? And does giving your kid a name you made up actually hurt their career? My favorite part: 7 million American children disappeared overnight. Why? Because the IRS began requiring social security numbers for all children claimed on tax returns.

Guns of August, Barbara Tuchman: Best book on World War I. Man, that war changed everything for everyone and contributed to the way the world is today. So many people died. Sure, we love to give the French a hard time saying they are wimps, etc. but guess what? They lost over 1,000,000 men between the ages of 17 to 31 during that war and we wonder why they had no military come World War II.

In Cold Blood, Truman Capote: I like this book for two reasons. First, it is credited as being the first non-fiction novel, a literary genre I really enjoy. Second, I find it so fascinating that a flamboyant homosexual who loved formal parties and wrote Breakfast at Tiffany’s authored this dark, violent, and depressing book.

Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer: At times I really identified with this confused and ultimately doomed young man. But then there were other times when his ideas and actions were madding and not so bright. However, after finishing this book I headed to the lake and spent the day wandering and thinking with my dogs, it is that inspiring.

Marley and Me, John Grogan: The story of a family and their dog so you know how it will end. If you have ever owned a dog you will identify with this book at some point or another. It literally will make you laugh and will make you cry. In Heidi’s case she cried, and cried, and cried, and cried…

Nothing Like It in the World, Stephen Ambrose: The completion of the transcontinental railroad divided the nation in half and it will never go back. Buffalo herds and Native American tribes were forced to stay north or south. Plus I find the lives of the builders fascinating, made up of very different peoples including Irish immigrants, former African slaves, Chinamen, and Mormons.

Our Endangered Values, Jimmy Carter: Sure he wasn’t a very successful president (my guess is he was too nice) but I deeply admire Jimmy Carter. He is talented in so many ways and has really tried to make the world more peaceful and fight some of the most horrendous diseases that curse some of the most unfortunate people. If I’m ever in southern Georgia on a Sunday I’m going to his Sunday School class.

Politics Lost, Joe Klein: I never cared about politics until I “read” this book whose subtitle is “Why Politicians Think Your Stupid.” There was something about this readable book that sucked me into the despicable world of politics but I feel like a more responsible American as a result.

Team of Rivals, Doris Kearns Goodwin: Who doesn’t enjoy a book about Abraham Lincoln? He is one of those universally admired people. Plus, Heidi and I were at an interview with a General Authority and he brought up this book. I felt pretty smart when I said I had read the text but failed to mention it was in audiobook form.

The Cases that Haunt Us, John Douglas: When Heidi and I were living in Baltimore we developed a morbid fascination with the writings of this former FBI psychological profiler. This book is his take on those historical mysteries that remain partially or entirely unsolved including Jack the Ripper, Lizzie Borden, the Black Dahlia among others.

The Nine, Jeffrey Toobin: As a whole Americans know little about the Supreme Court but they are more influential on the future of the United States than any president. I learned a lot about these odd, socially awkward eggheads, for example, who would have thought the nicest and friendliest Justice is Clarence Thomas?

The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman: Instant communication has made the world flat. For example, you call about any computer problems and you find yourself talking to an Indian half a world away. The world has changed so much in such a short time and this book is a brilliant take on the changes. Who would’ve thought if you called JetBlue Airlines 9 out of 10 times your talking to a housewife in Utah.

Walden, Henry David Thoreau: He went into the woods to prove that man can happily survive on their own and without luxury. Boy, I wish the world was more simple. But the point that really hit home was that Thoreau believed that the world was improving and savage habits such as the slaughtering and eating of animals would actually decrease, sadly he was wrong, very wrong.


BONUS BOOK: 1776, David McCullough: What an incredible and inspiring year! Seriously, it was almost as if there was divine intervention. One of my favorite moments: imagine the British waking up in Boston that cold morning and looking up at the nearby hills to see they were surrounded by Continental cannons and army, which had appeared overnight as if from thin air. You can’t make that stuff up!