10 Reasons Why Heidi is a Wonderful Mother

(Sorry, not a very good picture) Despite being a feisty little thing Heidi does a lot of wonderful things. Unlike me she is talented in a variety of ways and being a mother is another thing we discovered Heidi is pretty good at.

1. She can make Henry stop crying (I cannot).
2. Heidi has the uncanny ability to color coordinate with Henry and they frequently have matching outfits.
3. Heidi held Henry during his first round of shots and had to watch him bleed and cry (For the record I was there but had to leave because I was on call).
4. She can make Henry smile with only a little effort.
5. Believe it or not Heidi can carry Henry in the B’Journ and walk both Bentley and Myla at the same time.
6. Heidi has not lost her ambition and her goals remain in line, a trait that will help Henry down the road.
7. I don’t know how but Heidi can spend hours "playing" with Henry. How does one "play" with a kid that can barely hold his head up?
8. When we got Henry I promised to read to him often but Heidi reads to him all the time and somehow keeps his attention.
9. Dirty diapers do not make Heidi dry heave; in fact, she thinks he’s cute when he is naked.
10. Heidi and Henry are connected in a way that I envy but will never be able to achieve because I’m just a dumb guy.

These are a few of my favorite things...

As I look back at some of my posts I might come off too serious, depressing and overly opinionated. So I decided to write about five of my favorite things. Now there are some things that are just a given. Of course my wife Heidi and son Henry are at the top of my list. And despite their limitations I also love being a Mormon and a social worker. These five items are in addition to all of those givens.

1. Documentaries: Learning is definitely one of my favorite things and audiovisual is even better. There are all kinds of documentaries like the psychopathic romance 'Crazy Love,' the urban American political thriller 'Street Fight,' conflict films such as 'The Fog of War' and 'Why We Fight,' and the frighteningly funny 'Jesus Camp.' But if you only have time to watch one documentary check out 'The King of Kong,' one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. As for now I am on 'Darwin's Nightmare.' P.S. We almost named Henry 'William Mitchell.'

2. Dog Parks: Nothing beats the 'Dog Fancier's Park' in Las Vegas. More than two years before we moved from Vegas we met the Andersons and Rosses every Sunday for at least an hour so we spent over 100 hours, probably closer to 200, at the 'DP.' We talked about school, entertainment, church, politics, you name it, point is we had a lot of good times while our dogs played and wandered aimlessly. Naturally Heidi and I were ecstatic when our new apartment complex put in a pretty nice dog park, unfortunately there is no Buddy, Tilli, or Bandit.

3. Audiobooks: My favorite pass time is reading but I am way too busy to sit and read as much as I would like. So apparently God inspired someone to invent audiobooks which enables me to 'read' 2-3 books a week. I check them out from the library, put them on my iPod and listen to them while I drive all over the place for work, go to the gym, or go on walks, which just happens to be my next favorite thing.

4. Walking: I have always loved walking and would wander throughout my neighborhood and mountains while growing up. While serving a mission we did not have bikes, cars, or even the best public transportation. Nope, we walked everywhere. Heidi and I go on two walks a day and some of the most meaningful conversations and best team building we have ever done has been on our walks. Gandhi wrote in his autobiography that he walked all the time for his health, to clear his head, and to get places without having to rely on someone else.

5. Creepy Movies/TV: I do not like slasher flicks, cheap scares are not my thing. But genuinely creepy shows and films such as 'Coraline' mesmerize me. Yeah, I know you might be thinking 'Coraline' is a kid's movie but I'm sorry when the story line involves little kids sewing buttons in place of their eyes it's a creepy movie in my book. Another movie that terrorized me as a kid, 'Dumbo,' specifically the pink elephant scene which still brings on the shivers. Some of my favorite TV shows are complicated creepy shows with flashes of violence and humor such as 'The X-Files,' 'Lost,' and female-friendly 'Medium.'

BONUS: History: History is my first academic love. I was obsessed with the Wild West and Roaring '20s as a kid. I love museums and historical sights (I stopped at every historical marker on our honeymoon). Many books I read are histories and biographies and recently I watched the 'John Adams' miniseries. If there was a practical way to make money off of history besides teaching I would do it in a heartbeat.

[All] For Me?

What could make a girl this happy?
Well a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day of course.

What postpartum women wouldn't want to occasionally take a bite of a succulent, creamy, chocolaty delight? There's no harm in that?

What's so bad about getting a box of chocolates for Valentine's...

Realizing you ate almost the entire box by yourself!

The Trappings of Facebook

If any of you are regulars on Facebook (which I am sure many of you are), please read the following article. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

H'rumphs
An Innocent in the Land of Facebook Being the trusting sort, I clicked on the link. Life is different now.
by Ed Spivey Jr.

"It started innocently enough. An acquaintance e-mailed me and, using a new verb with which I was unfamiliar, asked if she could “friend” me. Considering she was already a friend, her request was not readily understood. Is the verb “friend” more intimate than the noun version? Will this involve touching? Should I consult a priest or parole officer before replying?

Being the trusting individual that I am, I clicked on the link in her e-mail, followed the on-screen instructions to fill out a few lines of personal information—name, gender, criminal record—and clicked again. My life hasn’t been the same since. It was as if I had walked through the back of a wardrobe and emerged in a snow-covered woods illuminated by a single lamppost, against which leaned a huge and menacing ape-like monster with only one eye. (Sorry. Sometimes I get that Narnia book mixed up with Lord of the Rings.)

Apparently, I had signed up for something called “Facebook,” a virtual universe where people stay in touch with each other on a daily basis with—and this must be some kind of Facebook rule—the most banal humdrum that simply must be shared. “I’m having coffee and reading the paper,” a friend writes on her page, an idle comment that God Almighty—who knows all and sees all—would probably fail to note, but which nonetheless triggers an automatic e-mail telling all her friends that she has just “updated” her page. This is now archived into a permanent space on the World Wide Web, despite the fact it would be of interest only to a parent (“What, you can read the paper but you can’t call your mother?”) or criminal investigators looking for behavioral clues as to why, after finishing the newspaper, she walked out of her house carrying a meat cleaver.

Far worse, an incoming Facebook alert triggers one’s inner zombie. You can’t not click on the link, enter your password, and wait expectantly, because a friend could be informing you she has an incurable disease, or has been appointed to the Obama administration, or just received a MacArthur genius grant. Nope. Just drinking coffee.

Who invented this? It’s pen pals from hell, but without the collectible foreign postage stamps.

After “friending” the first person, I got another request. A month later I’m up to 97 Internet friends, some with names I recognize, others that are familiar but whose faces are not. Being new to this universe, I simply “confirmed” any new friend that came along, praying that I would not, at some future date, have to write stuff in all their yearbooks.

But can I trust these new “friends”? Are there junk friends on Facebook like the junk e-mail I regularly get? Do advertisers pose as friends, so when I “friend” them I inadvertently sign up for vinyl siding, or a new cell phone, or a speed-dating seminar?

And what if someone asks me to friend them but I don’t want to? A colleague says just ignore their request but never, under any circumstances, click the “Ignore” button, because that could offend them. And they might come after you with a cleaver.

And dare I invite someone to be my friend? What if they don’t want me as their Facebook buddy? What if they click “Ignore” and suddenly it’s high school all over again? Do I need this in the autumn (okay, early winter) of my life?

See how much anxiety this is creating for me? (Should I get a date for prom now, or wait until later?) Suddenly, I’m an insecure teenager again, but without the comforting cowboy-themed bedroom in which to take refuge.

THE ARCHITECTURE OF Facebook—not to mention the vernacular—is also confusing. Apparently I have a “wall” that people can write things on (“I’m going shopping, then to a Save Darfur rally, then back to shopping”), but I don’t see anything that looks like a wall on my page. Just lots of photos and quotations from people (“Okay, I’m back. Good rally. Now off to Target!”). And if people put something on my “wall,” can I take it off without turpentine? Frankly, I’d rather they just spray-paint something on the side of my neighbor’s garage. A lot easier to read, and then I could clean it off.

And since being on Facebook basically means having your own Internet site, it takes hours each day to maintain, most of which must be done during the work day to avoid using personal time at home. This may not go over with the boss, so make sure you keep a computer game in the background of your monitor at all times. That way, if someone walks by, you can quickly change your screen to the game, so people know you’re actually working."

This is exactly how I feel. I get on Facebook and suddenly I am transformed back to 1997 and I am dealing with all of these high school "friends"; "friends" that I really don't care to be "friends" with. But I want to be their "friend," and I want to get a glimpse of thier life (all be it second by second.) And worse off I want them to be my "friend." Facebook has got me trapped. I even dreamed about my Facebook Friends last night! Why Facebook? Why?

Heidi can't wait for school to start, so she can get off of Facebook!

10 years

I've been scrapbooking a lot lately in my "free" time, and ran across this picture:

It was taken over 10 years ago in 1998. It got me thinking about how much I've changed. Not only physically but emotionally too. I look back at that girl, so young, so naive...have I really changed that much? I started looking through other pictures-here they are, what do you think? So here is a snapshot of my last 10 years:

1999

2000

2001

2002

2003

2004

2005

2006


2007

2008

And this is me today (Feb. 13th, 2009)

-------------------

Do you think I've changed? And more importantly how have you changed in the last ten years? I want to see pictures!

A Stolen Post...

I found this name thing on my brother Jason's blog and thought we should give it a whirl. It might be a little confusing because we did all three of us. Some is funny while others are just a little weird. Try it out if you have nothing else to do.

Your Real Name: Heidi, Daniel, Henry

.

Witness Protection Name: (mother and fathers middle names) Kirby Jay, Petersen Raymond, Williams Brian

.

Secret Spy Name: (your first name spelled backwards) Idieh, Leinad, Yrneh

.

Nascar Name: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad) Geri Jay, Alvin Roscoe, Ron Burton

.

Detective Name: (favorite color, favorite animal) Blue Anteater, Yellow Dog, Yellow Cat

.

Soap Opera Name: (middle name, county where you were born) Williams Salt Lake, Brian Utah, Petersen Harris

.

Super Hero Name: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink, add "THE" to the beginning) The Pink Pepsi, The Blue Mt. Dew, The Green Formula

.

Fly Name: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name) Hems, Daon, Heon

.

Street Name: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Chocolate Milano, Chilly Willy Chocolate Chip, Vanilla No Bake

.

Rock Star: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on) Bo Mt Road, Molly 9820 North, Ike Sarah Deel

.

Your Next Child's Name: (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy) Ming Shu Taffy, Adidas Dark Chocolate, Johnson & Johnson Mint

"Clean-Cut Optimism"

My beautiful wife regularly reminds me, I am a cynical man. However, I argue that I am also an optimist. Sure, many of you might not agree with me or even find it feasible that a man can be a cynic and an optimist but it is true. I inherited my optimism through my Mormon ethnicity, as TIME wrote in 1997 Mormons are an ideal “combination of family orientation, clean-cut optimism, honesty and pleasant aggressiveness.” I love it when I read or hear the members of my faith described as “clean-cut optimists.” However, recently I noticed two areas where many of my fellow Mormons were not as optimistic as one might expect.

First, the recent presidential election. Barack Obama, a content family man with two children ran against a divorced gentleman whose second wife was only a couple years older than his eldest son. Obama’s platform harnessed the words of “Hope,” “Faith,” and yes, even “Optimism.” Mormons love these ideas and logically they would traditionally find this type of candidate appealing. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, over 60% of Utah voted for McCain. Even more astonishing is how many “clean-cut optimistic” Mormons I have heard pessimistically describe the new president using words such as “afraid,” “fear,” and “hopeless,” hardly the vocabulary normally utilized by us Mormons.

The second thought derives from a recent book I read. I find it interesting that every time war is mentioned at church we “clean-cut optimistic” Mormons love to use the phrase, “wars and rumors of wars,” then emphasize how the world is full of so much violence. Granted, the USA has real problems with internal violence, but overall the world is a peaceful place. Think about it, Europe has not seen a major war since World War II, South America has not had a serious conflict in a couple decades and Central America experienced a round of civil disputes in the ‘80s and ‘90s but have been relatively quiet since then. Meanwhile there has been a lot of saber rattling in Asia but not much more than that and thus far we have been able to keep the Canadians at bay.

So where are these “wars and rumors of wars” that everyone keeps talking about? As Fareed Zakaria explained:

“A team of scholars at the University of Maryland has been tracking deaths caused by organized violence. Their data show that wars of all kinds have been declining since the mid-1980s and that we are now at the lowest levels of global violence since the 1950s. Deaths from terrorism are reported to have risen in recent years. But on closer examination, 80 percent of those casualties come from Afghanistan and Iraq, which are really war zones with ongoing insurgencies—and the overall numbers remain small. Looking at the evidence, Harvard's polymath professor Steven Pinker has ventured to speculate that we are probably living "in the most peaceful time of our species' existence.”

“Why does it not feel that way? Why do we think we live in scary times? Part of the problem is that as violence has been ebbing, information has been exploding. The last 20 years have produced an information revolution that brings us news and, most crucially, images from around the world all the time. The immediacy of the images and the intensity of the 24-hour news cycle combine to produce constant hype.”

In other words quit watching and listening to ALL NEWS but especially jerks like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, pretty much all of FOX News and perhaps the biggest pessimistic clean-cut Mormon of them all, Glenn Beck, they are negative to the bone and truly not helpful. I find it shocking how many of my fellow Mormons regularly indulge in these nay-sayers who definitely do not personify a “combination of family orientation, clean-cut optimism, honesty and pleasant aggressiveness.”

So…to conclude here is a picture of everything that exemplifies my optimism, my boy, Henry and his stuffed dog.

It's not as bad as I make it sound

It's true. I make it sound so much worse than it is. He's not that bad. I think I'll keep him.

Oh, Henry!

In the Ecuadorian orphanage that I volunteered in, there was a huge picture on the wall of a baby suckling it's mother's breast. I always though it was funny, and quite mean actually, to hang this picture above the cribs of orphans who were being bottle feed. Wasn't being without a mother bad enough? But to remind these poor infants of what they are missing-torture!

(This is NOT a picture of me!)

Before I got pregnant I wasn't sure about breastfeeding. I was, and in fact still am, a little uncomfortable by public displays of breastfeeding. I am shocked that the most modest women out there feel that it is perfectly appropriate to whip out their boobs anytime, anywhere...I don't know, call me a prude, but use the mother's lounge for heaven's sake! For some reason though, when I became pregnant this natural instinct swept over me, and I wanted to do anything and everything for this child-including breastfeeding. I wanted to feel the connection and bond with this child in a way that only mother and child could. And besides, research has shown that breastfeeding is best; it's the perfect food and it's free food for your child, you can't beat free!

"Since it serves as the link between generations, milk is an especially unique food. Mothers nursing their young provide a typical continuity, such as in the salvation of anything young and delicate. It is sheltering of young tissues by repetition and familiarity. Milk is, of course, the natural diet of the human infant...During the evolution of man, the survival of the race was dependent on milk.

Milk has the unique quality of containing the best that the mother can offer, even at the expense of her own health...In many cultures, milk is, in fact, a symbol of the willingness to give, to sacrifice, and to put the welfare of another above that of oneself. Such expressions as "the milk of human kindness" are to be found in many languages. For this reason, in some areas of India where dairying has been traditionally important, the cow is given a special place of reverence and respect." (Diet and Nutrition: A holistic approach, Ballentine, R. pg. 124)

AND THEN THERE WAS HENRY:

(Trying to feed Henry)

Henry will not nurse. My perfect little angel turns into a perfect little monster, screaming at the top of his lungs, kicking and pinching (yes a newborn can pinch!) He hates nursing and absolutely refuses to do it. I am sure Freud has something to say about that. It's not all Henry's fault though. My milk never really came in, so if I can convince Henry to latch on, I have very little to give him, if anything at all. Oh, what the emotional toll this has been.

(It's been emotional for him too)

I feel so guilty that I can't give Henry the one thing that a mother should be able to give. And then I feel frustrated because Henry doesn't even want to try and to try at something that should come naturally to an infant. Now granted he is a lousy feeder all around. He has a weak and lazy suck. I have tried 4 different bottles and he will only take a $9 pacifier from Germany. He fights the bottle and it takes so much convincing to get him to eat. Yesterday Henry went 6 hours without food because he refused to eat. I guess I feel like a failure, like maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Or maybe it's just ironic that the thing I wasn't sure I wanted to do, now that I can't do it, it kills me.

Help!!! If anyone has any ideas on how to get a fussy baby to eat- let me know. This was Henry this afternoon after about 20 minutes of trying to get him to eat from the bottle!

HELP!

TV Show I Like

I like TV, maybe more than I should. I especially like good comedies. In the non-fiction book 'Team of Rivals' the author described Abraham Lincoln's love of the theater, especially comedies. He received some criticism for attending so many plays but Lincoln explained that he needed to attend the theater and laugh to escape the realities of the Civil War. I feel like that somedays, I spend my days working with people who are terminally ill and I love it but it takes a toll at times and I just need to laugh, one of my favorite things to do.

This brings me to 'The Office.' Hilarious show, a dry comedy that one can watch an episode several times and still find jokes that were not noticed before. Did anyone catch the episode last Sunday immediately after the Super Bowl? It was a great episode but for those who didn't see it a few characters were watching a movie within the show starring Jack Black, Jessica Alba, and octogenarian Cloris Leachman. Now from what I understood was that Black was engaged to Alba but soon fell in love with her grandmother Leachman.


At first I was disturbed, especially after the bathtub make out scene. But now I am surprisingly intrigued and let's be honest, it was touching! Too bad this isn't a real movie. Am I the only one mesmerized by the Black/Leachman love affair? I mean when I close my eyes I see this non-traditional relationship but now that I think about it maybe it is not a good thing that this fictional film burned to my retina, especially because my imagination takes it in a weird direction. Sitcoms, what would I do without you?

I love America but....

I love America. As one journalist asked what other country could topple a foreign government lead by a man named Hussein one year and elect a president for their own country with Hussein as a middle name only a few years later? This is the land of opportunity! As President Obama once noted, “I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on earth is my story even possible.”

However, were in trouble but not for reasons you might think. I recently read a book called “The Post-American World” by Indian-American Fareed Zakaria. He contends we are currently in a post-American world but not because of anything the USA did wrong, but what we did right. After centuries of pressuring the world to accept capitalism many countries have now caught up to and are surpassing us in countless areas.

Zakaria noted that the “world's tallest building is in Taipei, and will soon be in Dubai. Its largest publicly traded company is in Beijing. Its biggest refinery is being constructed in India. Its largest passenger airplane is built in Europe. The largest investment fund on the planet is in Abu Dhabi; the biggest movie industry is Bollywood, not Hollywood. Once quintessentially American icons have been usurped by the natives. The largest Ferris wheel is in Singapore. The largest casino is in Macao, which overtook Las Vegas in gambling revenues last year. America no longer dominates even its favorite sport, shopping. The Mall of America in Minnesota once boasted that it was the largest shopping mall in the world. Today it wouldn't make the top ten. In the most recent rankings, only two of the world's ten richest people are American. These lists are arbitrary and a bit silly, but consider that only ten years ago, the United States would have serenely topped almost every one of these categories.”

Let’s face it folks, were falling behind and it is beginning to hurt. For example, I love it when people defend our health care system but are completely oblivious to the fact that almost 20% of our population would not be treated even if they had a terminal illness. So, how do we compare to other nations in some important areas? Let’s take a look:

Average Life Expectancy

1. Macau 84.3

2. Andorra 82.7

3. Japan 82.1

4. Singapore 81.9

5. San Marino 81.8

6. Hong Kong 81.7

7. Gibraltar 80.1

8. Sweden 80.6

9. Australia 80.5

10. Switzerland 80.5

Well that’s funny, I thought the awesome health care in the USA would give us a few more years of life than most. Where did we rank?

43. Bermuda 78.1

44. St. Helena 78.09

45. USA 78.06

46. Cyprus 78.0

47. Denmark 77.9

How about something that really matters, the infant mortality rate. If our health care is as fantastic as most Americans think then we should be doing pretty well in this area, right? Let’s see:

Lowest Infant Mortality Per Thousand Births

1. Singapore 2.3

2. Sweden 2.8

3. Japan 2.8

4. Hong Kong 2.9

5. Iceland 3.3

6. France 3.4

7. Finland 3.5

8. Anguilla 3.5

9. Norway 3.6

10. Malta 3.8

As you can see our incredibly expensive health care system can’t even get us in the top ten lowest infant mortality rates. Where do we fall in this very important category?

40. Cuba 5.9

41. South Korea 5.9

42. USA 6.3

43. Faroe Islands 6.4

44. Croatia 6.5

Almost three times the number of infants die in the US than the nations at the top of the list or in other words 41 countries can keep their newborn babies alive better than we can. So, what about the overall picture, the standard of living that looks at socioeconomic, healthcare, and educational factors. We fared better here taking #15 but we were the only country in the top twenty that is currently falling; in fact, we have fallen every year for the past few years. Who’s on top?

Standard of Living Index

1. Iceland

2. Norway

3. Canada

4. Australia

5. Ireland

6. Netherlands

7. Sweden

8. Japan

9. Luxembourg

10. Switzerland

11. France

12. Finland

13. Denmark

14. Austria

15. USA

16. Spain

So, what do you think? Ready to give up on America or start paying more attention to these important subjects? Let’s face it; these problems are not going away? Don’t get me wrong, I love America. Here is a picture of me after I was awarded an Army Commendation Medal at the end of my service in 2005, and last year I was commissioned as a 2^nd Lieutenant Chaplain’s Candidate in the US Army Chaplain’s Corp and I am very proud of my service to my country. But something has got to change and soon! Maybe I’m just worried about Henry’s future. Well, I wish I could say I was overreacting on this one but I’m not. What do you think? What needs to change first?

Motherboy

On Friday I subconsciously dressed Baby Buster and myself in matching velvet jumpsuits. Maybe I'm just preparing myself for Motherboy.


And for those of you who are not Arrested Development fans please watch the following clip for an explanation of Motherboy.