I was talking to my friend the other day about her friends who are going on a mission trip to Hungary for 2 years. An no, these people are not Mormon if you were wondering. They are just good Christian folk going on a mission....anyways....my friend and I spoke about service and how nice it would be to just give of yourself and not have to worry about anything else except other people.
I have felt very selfish lately. I now understand why so many Doctors leave medical school being so narcissistic and self absorbed. For three years now, I have lived, breathed and ate Chiropractic School. I have thought about me, myself, my school, my grades. At least I have a husband and a baby and animals to worry about. So many people at my school have themselves and only themselves to worry about, thus only increasing their self-centered-ness. Of course it's only natural to be so egotistic, we are paying only $200,000 to get through school-it's only natural to put ourselves first in order to get our moneys worth! But sometimes it feels less than satisfying.
I love service. Two of the most memorable experiences that I've had are working in the orphanages and working for the Weimaraner Rescue. {of course being a mother and a wife are pretty self-less too, but that's a given.} I have felt lately that being as busy as I am I have not had the ability to really dedicate myself to any extra service {besides family and church}. It makes one wonder if all of this selfishness is really worth it in the end?
I had my first walk in patient today. Walk in's are kind of a big deal. They are usually people that have a serious enough concern that they drag themselves to the clinic without making an appointment first. Usually they are in extreme pain and discomfort. My patient was not an exception. He rated his pain 10/10; and needless to say he had multiple complications and I am hoping that all works out through the night, and that I am able to see him tomorrow. As I was driving home I was thinking about him. Hoping that I did everything possible that I could. I was hoping that he saw how concerned I was, and how I was dedicated to his care. And then it hit me: for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely concerned about the welfare of someone other than myself or my family. It was a nice feeling. I guess all of this selfishness has finally paid off.
I have felt very selfish lately. I now understand why so many Doctors leave medical school being so narcissistic and self absorbed. For three years now, I have lived, breathed and ate Chiropractic School. I have thought about me, myself, my school, my grades. At least I have a husband and a baby and animals to worry about. So many people at my school have themselves and only themselves to worry about, thus only increasing their self-centered-ness. Of course it's only natural to be so egotistic, we are paying only $200,000 to get through school-it's only natural to put ourselves first in order to get our moneys worth! But sometimes it feels less than satisfying.
I love service. Two of the most memorable experiences that I've had are working in the orphanages and working for the Weimaraner Rescue. {of course being a mother and a wife are pretty self-less too, but that's a given.} I have felt lately that being as busy as I am I have not had the ability to really dedicate myself to any extra service {besides family and church}. It makes one wonder if all of this selfishness is really worth it in the end?
I had my first walk in patient today. Walk in's are kind of a big deal. They are usually people that have a serious enough concern that they drag themselves to the clinic without making an appointment first. Usually they are in extreme pain and discomfort. My patient was not an exception. He rated his pain 10/10; and needless to say he had multiple complications and I am hoping that all works out through the night, and that I am able to see him tomorrow. As I was driving home I was thinking about him. Hoping that I did everything possible that I could. I was hoping that he saw how concerned I was, and how I was dedicated to his care. And then it hit me: for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely concerned about the welfare of someone other than myself or my family. It was a nice feeling. I guess all of this selfishness has finally paid off.
4 comments:
You can't expect to help anyone else until you have helped yourself...and you have reached that point now, you have helped yourself.
I'm proud of you Heidi, I had similar epiphanies, it's about helping others nothing else to say. I certainly hope our boy grows up dedicated to helping those in need rather than helping his own needs.
You keep it up!
And I find nothing selfish in setting a goal and working hard to get there, all for the betterment of yourself, your family, your life, and now, your patients.
We need health care professionals who really care. I'm so proud of you.
Hi there... new to your blog... came over from Jason's. :)
I must say... anyone in the Healing Arts (especially someone who has a heart for mission work) is FAR from selfish! I can tell just by the little reading I've done here that you're not selfish at all.
Plus the fact that you're concerned enough to write about your walk in patient... you have a Big Heart. And that's a refreshing rarity these days. :)
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