Lost and Cancer

During the 2004-2005 television season the network abc introduced the world to the drama-mystery "Lost." You know, that maddening show about a plane that crashes on a mysterious island and slowly one-by-one the remaining passengers are killed off? You know, that one?

Anyway, we never saw an episode during the regular season but during the summer of 2005 abc began showing the entire series and that is when Heidi and I began watching. We had the time. You see, it was during this summer that Heidi was neck-deep in her chemotherapy and we had a lot of time to watch TV. We became enraptured by "Lost" (although Heidi lost patience after the third season or so) and watched it on Wednesday evenings at home, while in the hospital, and during the day after the DVDs were released.

There was a time where our lives loosely revolved around the show. Rightfully so. The characters were going insane and so was I during this particularly stressful period of my life. We also felt "Lost" but instead of living on a beautiful tropical island we were urbanites in the township of Paradise, Las Vegas.

I just finished watching the final episode of the series. Granted, I'm still processing the outcome (not sure if I get it) but there is some unexpected closure in my life. "Lost" began when Heidi had cancer and the show was always linked to that period of time so now that it is over, in a silly way I feel like that unpleasantness is behind me.

Now this might sound weird but in some ways I miss that period of time. There was a certain aura of quietness, solitude, and humility. There was something liberating about being brought to my knees in supplication. I couldn't get any lower. I mean come on, my young, beautiful wife was having her body pumped full of poisons that could possibly kill her in an effort to treat a disease that could possibly kill her. I had no fears because one of my greatest fears was coming true! Though it was an incredibly stressful period of time it was oddly peaceful. I wonder if Heidi agrees?