What Would You Say?

I enjoy being a social worker but it is genuinely challenging. For instance, on a moments notice you might be asked a question you don't expect. Reaction time has to be quick and comforting. Afterwards you can't help but sit back and wonder, "Was that the right thing to say?" Here is a recent example.

The other day I was called to a new patient's home who wanted to sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate Order). I had never met this woman or her family. As I entered the musty, dark room her son turned on the light. The patient was in her early forties and was dying from cancer. I knelt down by her so we could see eye to eye. Her adult son, sister, and mother were also in the room.

I introduced myself and asked if she was in any pain. She was extremely gaunt, sickly, pale and was moving very slowly. We talked briefly about the DNR and a few other odds and ends but I could tell she was very tired and did not want to take much of her time. As I was finishing up she reached over, took my hand, and with tears in her eyes she looked at me in the eyes and asked me, a freckle faced social worker with thinning red hair that she just barely met, in front of her mother, sister, and son, a question I have honestly never been asked.

"Am I going to die?"

Well, what would you say? Keep in mind that this woman was indeed dying (She died this past weekend). She had a bleak prognosis from the beginning and since she had no insurance no doctor was about to even try chemotherapy or radiation treatment on such a "lost cause" knowing they would never see the fruits of their labor. In fact, when she came onto our service she had only been given 2-4 weeks to live. But still, she asked that unhappy question.

So, again, as I ponder my response I wonder if it was right. As soon as I left I drove a couple miles and parked in an empty parking lot and prayed that my answer was divinely inspired. But still, I can't stop wondering what else I could have said, so, what do you think? Imagine you were in the exact same scenario, what would you say?